Life is short, Hate it while you still can...

Why do you never see tag team ladder matches anymore? 

Can someone please tell me? This is bull!

This is just random shit. But If I say its good you should look into it dammit!

Favorite Authors:
1. Dean Koontz
2. Harlan Coben
3. Celia Rivenbark
4. R.L. Stine
5. Mary Higgins Clark


Favorite Bands:
1. Nirvana
2. Sublime
3. Matchbox 20
4. The Offspring
5. Staind
6. Alice In Chains
7. Godsmack
8. Pantera
9. Trapt
10. Default


Favorite Hott Famous Guys:
1. Keith Urban
2. Travis Barker
3. Kurt Cobain
4. AJ, from "The Sopranos"
5. Rob Thomas
6. Sully Erna
7. Austin, Lead Singer of "Hinder"
8. Patrick Dempsey
9. The Lead Singer of "Default"
10. Heath Ledger


My Favorite Books:
1. Mafia Wife, By Lynda Milito
2. Speak, By Laurie Halse Anderson 
3. The Virgin Suicides, By Jeffrey Eugenides
4. We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, By Celia Rivenbark
5. Love & Death: Kurt Cobain, By Ian Halperin
6. No Second Chance, By Harlan Coben
7. From The Corner Of His Eye, By Dean Koontz
8. Broken Hearts, By R.L. Stine
9. Tracey Takes On, By Tracey Ullman
10. A Girl Named Zippy, By I CANT FRICKIN REMEMBER


My Favorite Movies:
1. The Notebook
2. 10 Things I Hate About You
3. Jawbreaker
4. Steel Magnolias
5. Little Miss Sunshine
6. Sixteen Candles
7. The Breakfast Club
8. Talledega Nights: Ricky Bobby
9. 300
10. Friday
11. Murder By Numbers
12. The Gift
13. Goodfellas
14. The Girl Next Door
15. Dead Birds


Things Im Passionate About:
1. Writing
2. Reading
3.Politics
4. Forensics
5. Serial Killers
6. Music
7. Nature
8. Children
9. Comedy
10. Photography


Great TV Shows:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. The Sopranos
3. Real Time with Bill Maher


General Things I Like:
1. Storms/Rainy Days
2. Doing stupid stuff in public for fun
3. Debating things
4. Sleeping
5. Summer Mornings & Winter Nights
6. Christmas Lights
7. Playing in the snow
8. Swimming
9. Eyeliner
10. Super Nintendo
11. Graffiti
12. Game Shows
13. Laughing
14. Food
15. Money


Secrets About Me:
1. I like the band Hanson
2. I have a blankie I sleep with
3. Im scared of butterflies
4. I dont like my hands to be wet
5. The open end of my pillowcase CANNOT be facing the outside of the bed, or I freak the fuck out


Things I HATE
1. Republicans
2. People who try too hard to be unique
3. Liars/Cheaters
4. Being bored
5. Rally's food
6. Tomatoes
7. Cops
8. Teen Moms
9. When my plans get fucked up
10. Waiting

I hang out with guys. 
I get pissed easily.

Im pretty sure I mentioned that already, as in, gave FOREWARNING.

So why am I defending this again?

Oh wait, I remember! Because my boyfriend cant handle it.

After many experiences with changing myself, I have came to the conclusion that I simply wont do it again. I just wont. I dont care if you're the Pope. Im still Kate.

You can only lose yourself so many times before you never get it back. No one is worth sacrificing your inner being for. 

If you ever consider doing so, ask yourself: Would they do it for me? I would bet my left ass cheek that the answer is NO.

And for those of you who dont have someone trying to change you, but rather, are trying to change someone else: Give It Up. Seriously. Not to be pessimistic or harsh, but dont bother. People are who they are. No matter how much they care about you, no matter what you say, in the end in comes down to that person, and only that person. The voice in their head is the last one they hear, and thats what counts. They're gonna do what they're gonna do regardless. And as a matter of fact? Why would you get involved with someone if you didnt like who they were to begin with? Do you really want a carbon copy of yourself?

But Supposing that I did give in, that I did change, that I calmed my temper and became a passive individual, Stopped hanging out with guys and became irritatingly feminine. What will I have if things between us fall apart? Not my family, cuz theyre gonna feel like they dont even know me anymore, Not my friends, cuz the new friends dont know the real me, Not even myself, cuz I GAVE THAT UP FOR A DOUCHE BAG. 

Im thinking it would be wise to stay the same. Does no one appreciate people being real anymore? Since when is being fake the "trendy" thing to do?

Someone, Somewhere will like me for me. Pros, Cons, Negatives, Positives, Good times, Bad times, all of it. This is not "Build-A-Girlfriend." Im sorry.

I also think its a shame that the real me is not good enough for anyone. That everyone in my life puts so much pressure on me to be perfect, that if the real, human part of me shows through in the slightest way, it is the end of the fucking world. 

I am The Worlds Most Forgiving Person. Period. Sometimes its extremely naive, but I am. This is someone who went back to a guy that beat my ass everyday, not once but twice. I am forgiving. However, Ive noticed that no one can find it in their heart to forgive me when I mess up. I think that is shockingly ironic. Do I have Sucker! Please Mistreat Me on my forehead or what?

I have to ask myself: Where has all this got me? All this living for others? All this forgiveness? All this generosity? All this change? All this work I put into perfection? Answer: Apparently nowhere. Im just as miserable as ever. (But still perpetually happy mind you)

And more ultimately: Have we nothing, in the end, but ourselves, really?